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"Gimme that.~ ♡" A smile would form on her face, effectively continuing to take a long drag of her cigarette while making the exchange of the lighter and the vape. It was one of those pink playboy sparkly lighters, seemingly matching her acrylic nails in color and luster; it was relieving to Desiree that Dylan had brought a nicotine device with him, as getting potentially drenched by the unknown would wreak havoc on her freshly opened pack. And 'twas quite scrumptious. Slipping it back to him whenever he was done and she'd taken a taste, she'd turn towards the woman with a glimmer of excitement in her eyes, starting the trip to the complex up the street beside them both.[break][break]
Violet seemed to the pinkette as if she was just as deadpan as she were serious, potentially paranoid, and a worrywart, though perhaps she had more experience in this kind of thing than anyone else. Though Desiree was the type to find herself looking only into the parts of people that she deemed to be good during first impressions, and that she saw with the firmness in her conviction. But the concerns about the influence of maybe foreign sensations on an otherworldly ecosystem were easily dismissed by her new surroundings-induced attention deficit.[break][break]
The sharp heels of her white gogo boots clacked on the stone and alloy walkways, though her eyes would stay met on their broad surroundings- piles upon piles of machinery would reside in the streets, alongside other magnificent treasure-like things. Trinkets, and oh was Desiree the collector of tiny antiques.
"You are! ♡ I'm digging your vibe, though~!" She'd play on Dylan's observation of Violet's character, though unsure if they had the same opinions.[break][break]
Blowing bustling clouds of tobacco smoke out of her lips, Desiree's gaze felt nearly bound to the endless chimes of the clockwork song and plant-ridden trinkets that sprawled across the streets, all appearing to be mechanical in some form or fashion. They were nearing closer to the trio of apartments- following Dylan inside as his words graced her swarovski diamond earrings, she'd look at the dilapidated mechanical architecture and what resided inside of it. They seemed to have been lived in, as additional golden and gear-like items sat upon tables and kitchen countertops.[break][break]
"I'm holding up amazing, it's hard for me not to eat this place up~ ♡" She'd grin, tapping her nails on the edge of the thin wall's surface asmr style as she'd walk around the perimeter. Though the tune playing was infectious in terms of sewing all kinds of feelings, just as ominous as it was enthralling, it did not come close to comparing to the amount of time she spent looping some of her electric daisy beats. She was enjoying the beginning of this expedition tremendously; maybe
MATIAS SILPH was right in the fact that she should stop going through the Ultra Deep Sea rift, even if he
really told her he hadn't wished for her to go through them as a whole.[break][break]
That was until she'd looked down at where the tip of her boot hit a pile of trinkets, hosting a rather familiar one in its off-center. Immediately recognizable to Desiree, she'd pluck it from its nest of antique chains and gears and hold it in her palms, staring down at it with an extremely sharp gaze; it felt to her as if she was sitting under a soul spotlight surrounded by an abyss of void, being poked by needles of disbelief and dismay. Though it was in a variation of mechanical construction rather than stone, it was just the same as the sharp crown-carved fossil her father had given her when she was only four, a one-of-a-kind. This was one of the first memories she'd been able to hold onto from that early childhood stage.[break][break]
She'd begin to shake shortly before quickly thudding her way into the first bedroom she could see, slamming the door once she had entered, not giving the two any words or any looks. Ever since Desiree had got to Hoenn, so much had been going on to distract her from the black veil of grim guilt cast upon her when she'd fled Kalos due to her rapid decline of mental health; the Teravolt signing, all the new faces,
even her trips to the Ultra Deep Sea. There were bigger things to think about than what happened two months ago. But this was real, or at least it felt like it- she knew she had to break it, to shatter it, as she wanted nothing to be left of his. Nothing to allow her to think about it anymore materially, it was too hard.[break][break]
But even when she'd once got rid of every material thing to do with her father in the ordinary world, it still wasn't enough, even if her brain was ticking to acknowledge that was the truth. Desiree wasn't strong enough to admit that, even with all of the psychedelics she indulged on the regular. She'd have to think about how she was the one to push him off the balcony, how she was forced to take his life in order to not let him afflict any more harm on hers, from now until the end of time. Maybe only every now and then if she'd been able to distract herself from the guilt of surviving at the expense of another's, even if he was the threat in the first place, but that was only if she was lucky. The future could tell, and it would; but now she was in the pits, not strong enough to fight the spiraling sensation. Not strong enough to accept the grimness of it all and emerge from it, breaking free.[break][break]
Teardrops falling down her cheek tattoos of white ink, she'd frantically toss it out of her hands and onto the tile below her, causing it to cling for a moment before settling. Desiree was beginning to hyperventilate; her cigarette and purse had fallen to the ground with the throw, but quickly looking around at her surroundings, she'd notice it. A big almost crowbar-shaped hunk of some kind of metal. Taking it to the sharp rock, she'd bawl harder and harder with each loud reverberating hit against it, collapsing to the ground when it was reduced to a pile of scraps.[break][break]
What was once one of the things that her father had used to stab her at the beginning of June was now reduced to nothingness, but when she'd thrown the hunk of metal to discard it before collapsing it struck the wall- the wall that hosted the main room she'd found the trinket on the other side, it struck hard. Due to its thinness, the crowbar created a hole in the wall at about stomach height, with three people able to look in at the same time.[break][break]
In her crouched ball on the floor amongst the shattered fragments and droplets of emotion, Desiree was above all things embarrassed. Maybe this was the effect of this world- no coincidences, just a test of facing one's inner demons. But the hallucinations in the Ultra Deep Sea were so odd, and it once felt beautiful within the walls of the antique kingdom. But now, anxiety was forming a bit in her stomach that felt larger than the pits of the other rift's gargantuan core, causing her to be able to do nothing other than bask in her waterfalls, holding her hands against her golden eyes to look at the nothingness. She felt as though there was no coming back from this blow to Dylan and Violet's first impression of her if they were to ask.[break][break]
"I didn't want to," she'd shakily breathe in, tears continuing to flow,
"I didn't want to at all."